26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (2023)

Few people enter a relationship with the intention of doing so.commit infidelity. However, the shocking truth is that cheating is a reality for far too many couples. So what can you do to avoid getting your heart broken? The first step is to know the signs that your partner is cheating on you (or at least they are).Thinkabout). For example, you should be careful if they become too curious when you get home. And if they accuse you of being paranoid, they might pressure you to cover up their own guilt. Read on to hear from therapists what people are saying are signs of cheating.

READ NEXT:7 Body Language Signs Therapists Say Mean Your Partner Is Cheating On You.


"You are paranoid."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (1)

A classic way to deflect your own guilty behavior is to try to blame the other person and make them doubt themselves.

"When confronted with their behavior, scammers try to tell their partner off, insisting they're paranoid," he says.smooth outlaw, PhD, Sexual Health Expert and CEO ofHolistic Wisdom. “These manipulative tactics are intended to deflect blame from the scammer. That's a big red flag because someone who isn't cheating would be more open to talking about it and reassuring their partner that everything is okay."


"I know you're cheating on me!"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (2)

Ironically, an easy way to tell if your spouse is cheating is to see how often he accuses you.Ofof fraud – another classicgaslighting-tactic.

"Often this is a sign of self-blame, and he will blame you as well, making you defensive and distracting from his actions," he says.Bethany Ricciardi, an expert in sex and relationships withproducts. "He's quite manipulative...because they get so upset during the conversation that you think they hate cheating and would never cheat on you, when in fact they may have already."


"We're just friends, I don't even find her attractive."

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When you confront your partner about possible cheating and get this distracting reaction, you probably want to start paying more attention to their whereabouts.

"Cheaters may downplay the nature of their relationship with their lover by insisting that they're just friends and adding that they're not his type," Lawless shares.


"Why don't we try something new in bed tonight?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (4)

If your partner is suddenly trying to spice things up in the bedroom, you need to tread carefully.

"When they try new things with this new person, they may want to come home and ask their partner to try new things," she notes.jennifer kelman, Licensed Clinical Social Worker andMental health expert at JustAnswer. "If the partner isn't interested, it could reinforce that person's feeling that things are boring and that they have the right to leave the relationship, since sex can seem mundane or boring."

Another reason a cheating partner might initiate more sex is "so as not to raise suspicions about their cheating behavior," Lawless adds.


"Can you hug me?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (5)

In itself, this is a sweet feeling. But if your partner suddenly seeks more physical affection from you, they may be trying to feel better about their cheating.

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"Attachment can come from guilt or taking attention away from oneself," Lawless says.

READ NEXT:If your partner has these 4 qualities, they are more likely to cheat on you.


"Have I told you how good you look today?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (6)

Another way a scammer can disguise their guilt is with niceties.

"There could be a lot more compliments when a couple starts contemplating infidelity," he says.Ramani Durvasula,licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expertTonnetze. "They may even go out of their way to be nice or helpful."


"How exactly did you manage to wash the dishes wrong?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (7)

Although the cheating partner is at fault, they may also be the one trying to bring their partner down.

"Someone who cheats often feels very guilty," says Ricciardi. "Your partner can easily take it out on you by making you feel bad."

If, without a reasonable explanation, your partner has suddenly become more hostile and aggressive, you may want to sit down with them to have a serious discussion about your relationship.


"Do you like my new haircut?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (8)

If your partner has had the same haircut for a decade, but one day he comes home with a bold new haircut, "it could indicate an effort to impress someone else," he says.jonathan bennett, certified consultant and co-owner of the dating serviceDouble Trust Dating.

Other big changes in appearance, such as "losing weight, buying new clothes or starting to wear makeup more often," according to Bennett, could also be subtle signs of cheating.


"I'm sorry I didn't write today, work has been very busy."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (9)

your partner beforewrite to youhere and there all day but now they use "too much work" as an excuse to be MIA.

"If your partner is withdrawing attention, then maybe they're giving it to other people," says Bennett. "For example, if you've been getting a lot of texts and photos throughout the day, but it suddenly stops without explanation, someone else might get that attention."


"Work was good."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (10)

"When a relationship isn't working out, you may find that your partner shares less and less with you," she explains.raffi doll, LCSW-C, Director deBaltimore Therapy Center.

"You used to hear about his work day, and now it's mostly 'Not much happened,'" says Bilek. "Sharing is a sign of closeness and connection, and when that deteriorates, it's a sign that you're becoming more and more disconnected."

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"I don't think I would consider it.cheatPer se.

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (11)

"Rarely do couples have a clear and honest conversation about what they think is cheating behavior, and that sometimes leads to unintentional cheating," she says.Racine Heinrich, PhD, owner ofSankofa-terapia,a relationship therapy group based in New York City.

Of course, this does not apply to fraud in the traditional sense, but to fraudemotional cheatingor crossing the line between friendship and more.


"I'm going out with a new friend tonight, so don't wait."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (12)

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be free to make new friends, but if your spouse starts spending more time with this new "friend" than you do, then maybe it's time to consider some inappropriate emotions there.

“Most couples know who their friends are. So when there's a new friendship, it can also be a bit weird for them to go out alone and not involve their partner," Kelman warns. "The fact that they don't want to wait for it also shows a certain secrecy and that they'll be out late without being accountable to their partner. ”.


"When do you think you'll be home?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (13)

Sure, this question might be harmless if your partner wants to know when dinner is ready, but less honorable couples might be playing detective.

"This question can come up when they're trying to figure out how much time they have to meet or connect with the person they're cheating with," says Kelman. Your partner's schedule is, but it works more to cover your own skin while they go about their business.


"I'll take care of paying the bills this month."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (14)

If your partner is trying hard to keep you from looking at your credit card statement, chances are there's something they don't want you to see.

Lawless says you should be warned if your partner "shows potential signs of financial impropriety, such as: private spending, unexplained balances, or increased appearance fees."


"I get the feeling you don't appreciate me."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (15)

A person's insecurities can affect their relationships in many ways. An insecure person will not only question whether a relationship is worth being in and create problems that don't exist, but will often look elsewhere for validation, including cheating.

"While these can be valid feelings and need to be addressed with healthy, open communication, they can also be the result of the person they're cheating with seeing them in a new and different way," Kelman explains. "It also smacks of poor me a bit and a way to justify cheating because their partner doesn't appreciate them.

READ NEXT:8 'Small But Toxic' Things Therapists Say You Should Stop Saying To Your Partner.


"Do you still find me attractive?"

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26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (16)

When someone is having a hard time loving their physical appearance, they may be looking for validation from the outside, and not just from their partner.

"If sexual intimacy is outdated, then this questioning isn't that unnatural unless you're cheating, but if they are, they might be trying to understand why someone else finds them attractive and their partner doesn't," says Kelman.


"Why don't we go out anymore?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (17)

It's easy (and natural!) to fall into a rut in a long-term relationship. However, if a partner does not make an effortkeep the passion alive, the other person may feel entitled to find it elsewhere.

"This question highlights the boredom and staleness that relationships encounter, and when things feel exciting with this new person, it can create a desire to get out more and do the fun things the new person does," Kelman adds.


"That's months away, so let's not worry now."

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If you're trying to plan a vacation a few months in advance, but your partner keeps putting it off with one excuse after another, it could be a sign that they're starting to see a future with someone else.

"This could be a sign that the couple is considering ending the relationship, so you don't want to bring up future things or events if you're not sure you'll be around," Kelman says.


"I should retire to Florida some day."

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Notice if your partner uses the word "I" or "we" when talking about the future. If they start using the former, it could mean that they are imagining a future without you.

"You could start saying things like, 'II hope to go to Bali one day.''II would love to buy a house in Spain', something like that," says Durvasula.


"OfActuallyI didn't have to."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (20)

You come home from work with flowers and chocolates for your partner: but instead of responding with excitement and gratitude, they pretend you just brought home a box of deadly spiders.

"If their partner has done something wonderful for them, it can foster feelings of guilt and they may try to shake off the gift, or the kindness shown that underscores their lack of care and commitment in the relationship," she explains. Kelman.

The meaner you are, the easier it is for them to justify their actions.

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"Samantha's fine, I guess. I hardly ever see her anymore."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (21)

People who are cheating on someone in their life, such as a good friend or coworker, might try not to bring that person up again in conversation to avoid an accidental slip-up. And if you try to bring that person into the conversation, you'll find your spouse is quick to redirect the conversation, emphasizing that he hardly ever talks to so-and-so anymore.

"The telltale denial sign here is 'I hardly ever see them anymore,' which detracts from the amount of time they see Samantha," Kelman notes.


"Why does it matter where I go?"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (22)

If your partner suddenly starts keeping a secret about where they are going and what they are doing, it could be because they are hiding behind your back.

"This is a defensive stance with an emboldened style of how dare your partner ask you where you're going," says Kelman. "It's important because you're in a relationship and partners share where they're going and what they're doing. This aggressive, defensive stance is definitely a red flag."


"I'm so sick of this!"

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (23)

Someone who cheats is probably not trying to work out the problems in their current relationship. "The assumption is that the partner doesn't understand the person's needs and/or doesn't make the necessary changes," says Henry.

That's why they make dismissive statements like "I'm so sick of this!" or "Forget it!" instead of discussing the problems. "They enjoy the ease of creating something different with someone in whom they have less investment and less history," adds Henry.


"What? I always take my phone to the shower."

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If your partner is cheating on you, there is likely evidence on their phone. And since they don't want to get caught, they will protect this evidence at all costs.

"Yes, some may have their phone with them in the bathroom if they don't want to miss important calls or messages, but if this is a change then it really may be because they don't want their partner to have the chance to." her. cell phone," Kelman confirms. "Couples in healthy relationships never need to hide a phone, search for a phone, or worry about their phone being searched."


"Sorry, I forgot we had that today."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (25)

lead adouble lifeIt is not an easy task. And because a con man must juggle his home life with his secret exploits, he often forgets what goes on in one life versus the other, leading to forgotten engagements, repeated conversations, and accidental slip-ups that are quickly covered up with another lie. .

However, since your new relationship is exciting, you will feel the worst part more often. "You are no longer a priority because the other has priority," he sayslee phillips, LCSW, certifiedSex and couples therapist.


"I think I'll join a book club."

26 Things People Say Are Signs Of Cheating (26)

You should always encourage your partner to take up new hobbies, but if you notice that they don't talk about their activities and don't want you around, it could be a sign that they are using this as an excuse to flirt with someone. to meet the one they get to know behind your back.

"If your partner starts to get really interested in a random place or thing, make sure one person isn't also attached to it," Ricciardi advises.

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What are red flags for cheating? ›

The physical signs of cheating are the most obvious. This includes spending more time with friends and less with you, avoiding sex, having a random or significantly changed schedule, and changes in their appearance.

How do people act when they cheat on you? ›

Signs of cheating include a partner who improves their appearance, guards their phone, changes their schedule, and fades away emotionally. Someone could display several signs of cheating and still be faithful. Regardless, any such "signs" point to a breakdown in the relationship.

How do most cheaters communicate? ›

Cheaters will often use laptops and tablets, and even hidden apps, to communicate with a paramour. A new favorite place for texting is Google Docs. Your partner can claim to be working, rather than sexting with a new lover.

What is one thing all cheaters do? ›

The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. What is this? Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.

Why do I feel like I'm being cheated on? ›

In many cases, people think their spouse is cheating on them because either they've cheated on someone in the past or are about to. Psychologists say that projection is a low-level coping skill, where people who cheat or think of cheating are likely to project the same thoughts on their partners.

How does a man act if he is cheating? ›

Although infidelity in a relationship is often subjective, there are common signs that point to cheating behaviors in a boyfriend. These may include a change in mood, increased distraction, less importance placed on the relationship, or more time spent on devices, among others.

What triggers cheating? ›

An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.

What are subtle signs of cheating? ›

  • Altered Schedule. If working late is suddenly a new normal even though your partner's job doesn't really require it, they may not be telling the truth about where they are.
  • Uncomfortable Friends. The friends of the cheating partner usually know about it before you do. ...
  • Inconsistent Expenses. ...
  • False Accusations of Cheating.
Dec 13, 2022

How can you tell if your partner is lying? ›

Signs of Lying
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Being vague, or offering few details.
  • Body language that is contradictory (such as saying "no" but nodding their head up and down)
  • Body language that is unusual (like fidgeting, rigidity, rubbing brow, playing with hair, or slouching)
  • Continual defensiveness or denying of accusations.
Dec 24, 2021

What to look for if he's cheating? ›

9 signs your boyfriend is cheating:
  • He's super sneaky with his phone use. ...
  • He accuses you of cheating. ...
  • The behavior doesn't add up. ...
  • He can't stop picking fights with you. ...
  • Intimacy has changed for the worse. ...
  • Communication is indifferent and distant. ...
  • He's critical of your behaviors. ...
  • His behavior toward you is different.
Jan 24, 2023

What are the 2 types of cheating? ›

There are two main categories of infidelity: Physical and Emotional. An affair is generally considered to be a secondary relationship that is a combination of types and possibly fall under both main categories of physical and emotional infidelity.

What to check on a cheaters phone? ›

Tech clues to a cheating spouse: The basics
  1. Calls on your spouse's cell phone. ...
  2. Names and numbers you don't recognize. ...
  3. Incriminating text messages and emails. ...
  4. Voicemail messages. ...
  5. Frequent-flier account. ...
  6. Toll pass history. ...
  7. Location Sharing for Apple device users. ...
  8. Finding an Android device.
Nov 7, 2022

How do cheaters hide texts? ›

If you're looking for secret texting apps, Wickr Me is a good option. It's available for both Android and iOS devices. WickrMe offers end-to-end encryption for all types of messages, meaning that only the sender and receiver can read them. Messages can also be set to self-destruct after a certain amount of time.

What kind of personality do cheaters have? ›

Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.

What is soft cheating? ›

Also known as emotional-cheating, micro cheating falls under the umbrella of emotional infidelity and refers to small, seemingly insignificant things that a person can do that, while not explicitly unfaithful, can carry with them the hint of infidelity.

What are cheaters afraid of? ›

Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.

What are cheaters high? ›

People who get away with cheating when they believe no one is hurt by their dishonesty are more likely to feel upbeat than remorseful afterward, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.

How do I stop suspecting my partner? ›

Here are 8 ways to build trust in a relationship:
  1. Be open, acknowledge feelings & practice being vulnerable. ...
  2. Assume your partner has good intentions. ...
  3. Be honest & communicate about key issues in your relationship. ...
  4. Acknowledge how past hurts may trigger mistrust in the present. ...
  5. Listen to your partner's side of the story.

How does it feel to be cheated on by someone you love? ›

Being cheated on sucks. It's as simple as that – but the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. You feel betrayed, angry, embarrassed and completely heartbroken. It can make you question everything about yourself, your relationship and your life.

Where do most affairs start? ›

Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.

What are the three main causes of cheating? ›

Here, are nine of the most common reasons why people cheat.
  • Lack of Emotional Connection. ...
  • Lack of Sexual Connection. ...
  • Bad Boundaries With People Outside the Relationship. ...
  • Fighting Unfairly. ...
  • Making Assumptions About Your Relationship Status. ...
  • Unresolved Childhood Issues. ...
  • Sex Addiction. ...
  • Addiction.
Aug 29, 2022

What small things are considered cheating? ›

What is considered cheating?
  • Active online dating profile. Keeping your online dating profile active can imply infidelity even if you haven't gone on a date yet. ...
  • Being emotionally attached to another person. ...
  • Sending flirtatious messages. ...
  • Sexual intimacy. ...
  • Not being exclusive.
Aug 8, 2022

What are the 5 signs that someone is lying? ›

  • A Change in Speech Patterns. One telltale sign someone may not be telling the whole truth is irregular speech. ...
  • The Use of Non-Congruent Gestures. ...
  • Not Saying Enough. ...
  • Saying Too Much. ...
  • An Unusual Rise or Fall in Vocal Tone. ...
  • Direction of Their Eyes. ...
  • Covering Their Mouth or Eyes. ...
  • Excessive Fidgeting.

How do you know if your spouse is hiding something? ›

15 signs your spouse is hiding something from you
  1. Your intuition is telling you something. ...
  2. They have become secretive. ...
  3. Emotional intimacy is lacking. ...
  4. You're hearing rumors. ...
  5. They've become hard to reach. ...
  6. Sexual intimacy is lacking. ...
  7. Sexual intimacy is different. ...
  8. They're making a lot of plans without you.
Feb 25, 2021

How do I catch my partner in a lie? ›

Here are 5 foolproof ways to do so effectively:
  1. Take note of any inconsistencies. If you suspect someone of lying, pay attention to any inconsistencies in their story. ...
  2. Throw them off by asking the unexpected. ...
  3. Pay close attention to their behavior. ...
  4. Look for microexpressions. ...
  5. Be suspicious of extra details.
Feb 19, 2019

How do I stop thinking my partner is cheating? ›

How to Avoid Worrying About Cheating
  1. Stay Off of Their Social Media.
  2. Don't Check Their Phone.
  3. Maintain Intimacy.
  4. Maintain Attraction.
  5. Set Boundaries to Prevent Cheating.
  6. Build Your Relationship.
  7. Laugh at Yourself.
  8. Rely on Your Faith.

What is the most common type of cheating? ›

Emotional cheating is the most common type of affair with Couples Therapy revealing 45% of men and 35% of women admitted to being involved in emotional cheating.

What time of day do most affairs happen? ›

According to a survey of 1,000 members from extramarital dating site, IllicitEncounters, the day cheating is most likely to occur is Friday, and more specifically at 6.45pm. The survey also revealed that cheating tends to most commonly occur twice a week, with the second most popular time being Tuesday nights.

How do affairs end usually? ›

Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.

What kind of texting is cheating? ›

MD. Inappropriate texting can be considered cheating depending on a couple's boundaries around fidelity. Signs of a texting affair may include being secretive, keeping your phone down or out of sight, and flirting with others through text.

How do you outsmart cheaters? ›

7 Effective Tricks to Catch a Cheater
  1. Go where they're not expecting you. ...
  2. Change your plans, unannounced. ...
  3. Ask pointed questions. ...
  4. Be smart about snooping. ...
  5. Follow him. ...
  6. Consider hiring a private investigator—yes, seriously.
Jun 30, 2016

How do cheaters justify their behavior? ›

According to Sussman, the most common justification cheaters use is that they weren't getting their needs met in the relationship. They'll often say, "I was lonely" or "I was being ignored," she says.

How do you stop thinking that he is cheating? ›

How to Avoid Worrying About Cheating
  1. Stay Off of Their Social Media.
  2. Don't Check Their Phone.
  3. Maintain Intimacy.
  4. Maintain Attraction.
  5. Set Boundaries to Prevent Cheating.
  6. Build Your Relationship.
  7. Laugh at Yourself.
  8. Rely on Your Faith.

What is the mentality of cheaters? ›

A cheater might suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a narcissistic view of seeing things. Some people have a tendency for attention-seeking and once they are satisfied with one person they might go on to another to fulfil their needs and validate themselves.

How do you get someone to admit to cheating? ›

12 easy (but powerful) ways to get him to admit he cheated
  1. Avoid Asking Yes/No Questions. ...
  2. Pay Attention To His Words. ...
  3. Test His Alibi. ...
  4. Stay Friendly And Avoid Being Aggressive. ...
  5. Claim You Know What's Going On. ...
  6. Catch Him In A Good Mood. ...
  7. Study His Body Language. ...
  8. Gather More Evidence.

What kind of show is Cheaters? ›

Cheaters is an American weekly syndicated reality television series featuring couples with one partner who is committing adultery, or cheating, on the other partner. Investigations are headed by the "Cheaters Detective Agency". The series premiered on October 2, 2000, and ended on May 17, 2021.

What is emotional cheating texting? ›

Emotional infidelity texting is a form of cheating when you engage in intimate conversations with someone other than your partner. It can include sharing secrets, exchanging flirtatious messages, or even having an emotional affair online.

How can I check my partner's phone for cheating? ›

Tech clues to a cheating spouse: The basics
  1. Calls on your spouse's cell phone. ...
  2. Names and numbers you don't recognize. ...
  3. Incriminating text messages and emails. ...
  4. Voicemail messages. ...
  5. Frequent-flier account. ...
  6. Toll pass history. ...
  7. Location Sharing for Apple device users. ...
  8. Finding an Android device.
Nov 7, 2022

What should I look for on a phone cheater? ›

Look for blocked users or removed messages - that is if he is being careful. It might be out in the open if he is getting sloppy. If messaging apps are clean, then there is most likely nothing going on, at least nothing that's an active threat to a relationship.


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